School’s out, farmer’s tans are showing. And while mildly titillating, it would be much too obvious to put together our picks for the “sexiest pool scenes” or frankly anything that references “Wild Things” or Winona Ryder.  Fast Times is great for so many other tasty reasons.  No doubt, those remain seared into iconic memory.  As we hit summer’s stride and swimmers the world over strip down to their budgy smugglers, we felt an urge to dig deeper than “sexy” allowed.

As such, we put together a summer long series of the pool scenes that really matter. Sexy scratches, but at California Cowboy, we like to sniff.

Old School

Thanks to the most powerful tranq gun on the market and Todd Phillip’s imagination, we have a visual that will last a lifetime.  

Why it Matters: Millennials are saddled with crippling college debt. Why not run it back?  And be honest with yourself.  We’ve all cringed while attending a toddler’s birthday party and imagined the potential carnage of a drunken dad going Godzilla on the patio. Hello Darkness my old friend.

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Police Academy

This was as poignant as the Police Academy franchise ever needed to be.

Why it matters: The 7 movies put an entire generation of Hollywood’s kids through school.  Adjusted for inflation, they collectively grossed $570 million at the box office.  No Mission to Moscow needed. Go Guttenberg.

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Breaking Bad

A toast to befores and afters.  Cheers, Heisenberg.

Why it matters: Cranston nailed the modern anti-hero and Breaking Bad reminded us how much meth sucks.

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Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Not 100% sure, but that might not be snowflake.

Why it matters: Ace revived a genre that was on life support in the 90’s: physical comedy.  He was one of the best of his generation, which is tough when you’re up against Farley and Richard Simmons. This break out role post In Living Color launched his string of memorable and quotable roles.  Lest we forget his iconic Hawaiian shirt that would eventually inspire the High Water.

Finkle and Einhorn…

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Almost Famous

Why it matters: Because Rock n’ Roll.

Cameron Crowe taught us about Golden Gods and the music industry in the 1970’s.  Tell Rolling Stone magazine we’ll have what Stillwater is having.

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Anchorman

“I’ve just been handed a horrifying and urgent news story. I need all of you to stop what you’re doing and listen.”

Why it matters:  Anchorman’s plotline centers around sexism, with surprising effect.  Well played,  Ferrell makes our list for the third time. What in the hell is diversity?

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Back to School

Screw you Mellon! Was a tough vote between the Triple Lindy and the slightly less memorable quote: “That’s what I call Marine biology.”  

Why it matters:  Rodney finally gets his respect.

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Meet the Parents

“I bet you would Panama Red.”  Perhaps one of the most painful and incisively on point performances from a fantastic cast.  The grill is hot and the pool is luke.

Why it matters: Probably the only movie where a character is literally named after an F-Bomb.  Are you a pothead, Focker?

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The Sopranos

Tony had a weird relationship with his pool.  And an even weirder one with water fowl.

Why it matters: David Chase’s character crafted never before scene mob boss vulnerability with an affliction never explored in the genre, and one that made him relatable to millions of fellow Americans: crushing anxiety.  Gandolfini nailed the role and cemented his place in history before his tragic death. Would there be Walter White without Tony Soprano?

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Point Break

Gary Busey.

Why it Matters: Point Break. Gary Busey.

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Dogtown and Z-Boys

“200 Years of American technology had unwittingly created a massive cement playground of unlimited potential. But it was the minds of 11 year olds that could see that potential.”  

  • Craig Stecyk, 1975

Why it matters: You have Jay Adams (pictured), Tony Alva, and the Z-Boys to thank for the proliferation of extreme sports over the last 40 years.  There probably wouldn’t be any X-Games or GoPros without these guys.  Also: Vans, which was seriously struggling at the time, took a risk and funded the film, reminding the world why we loved their sneaks and the pioneers that made them famous. Bow down.  

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Hot Shots

Charlie Sheen as Topper Harley.  In the 90’s, Saddam was a target for everyone.  Hot Shots  portrayed him comically well before South Park’s Bigger, Longer, Uncut.  

Why it matters: It remains relevant today as the clearest visual representation of Ted Cruz’ middle east strategy.  

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Caddyshack

Doodie!
Why it matters:  During the same year, Murray delivered Caddyshack AND portrayed Hunter S. Thompson in Where the Buffalo Roam.  Watched with the right kind of eyes, Carl has some eerily Gonzo moments.  Murray = Range.  Side note: wasn’t banned for vulgarity like the viral video that would follow 20+ years later.  We all know it, but never watched.

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